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Mad Aunt Bernard’s Tortoise Poetry

It makes more sense than a couple of other things….

Tag: Wentletrap

A Local Interest Poem (sort of…)

Stroud, pipsticks, sandpit, clap,
Dursley, tunicle, wig.
Oxford A40, gourdy, wentletrap,
Chipping Sodbury, crumhorn, Fig.

Mad Aunt Bernard Uncategorized 2 Comments March 14, 2019March 18, 2019 1 Minute

Tortoise Day

The Infamous School Tortoise with random unknown lady.

Previously Scratched With A Crow Claw…

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Flying Saucers

Children in the 1800’s were told that these stationary tortoises were ‘flying saucers’ that had simply broken down, and were allowed to work on them in their garages after school. They never got them started and were told by adults that they couldn’t order the right parts.

Tortoise Polo

Children became weary of this pastime, it never delivered the speeds it promised, and a proper mallet was never provided. It was a fib, perpetuated by adults – it was the flying saucers all over again.

A Quick Tip

Although this blog is mainly words, it is essential that you have an ear trumpet close by on the sideboard in case any post contains the words ‘Igloo’ or ‘Fulcrum’.

Viva Tortuga!

Juan De La Vega was very surprised when the tortoise, who’d been dormant for three hours, suddenly pounced and killed him on it’s pointy horns. It apparently didn’t like red rags, and didn’t feel like ‘coming out of his shell’.

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