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Buggered Bicycle – An Account Of A Cycle Dive By My Dear Friend, Prof Reddish

Mad Aunt Bernard Uncategorized March 14, 2019March 18, 2019 1 Minute

Mother is dreadfully cross with me,
I broke my new bicycle.
We went to Worthing Pier –
such a marvellous day.
I came out of my bathing shelter in my new combination costume, and ego-ed shamelessly at lesser people.
I was a hit with the ladies, I can tell you. They cooed at my calves and marvelled at my clavicles. At least, I think that’s what they said.
Well, naturally, I rode off the pier. In daredevil Victorian style. With a moustache with which you could say ’embrocation’ and look really impressive.
Like you do.
Now the bicycle is broken, because
I landed on the largest recorded Turbot in history.
He is now dreadfully cross with me also.

(You wouldn’t believe the bloody cheek of the photographer – I had to hold still in mid-air while he took the blasted photo. Well, that’s what you get for having a sub-standard camera on stilts that comes with it’s own cloak.)

Published by Mad Aunt Bernard

A portal into the world of my poetry that takes it's inspiration from total rubbish. I work in the dark, down a hole, in a hedge. These works are written from my base in the Cornish county of Trebollocks, where I also make clothes from fly-paper. Journal entries, usually concerning bizarre family matters. Poems, some tortoisy, some not - it depends what day of the week it is. But it's never about windmills or ghosts, that I can tell you. I am a Shrieking Tutor teach Advanced Hiding Skills at Trebollocks College, I studied tortoise flinging at Nempnett Thrubwell Academy of Reptile Propulsion. I am old. I am warty. I have a beard like a dandelion clock. I have two toads, some spiders, and a bat. My sister is terrified of satsumas. A trumpet's as good as a wig to a blind owl in a coracle. Born on 1 April 1905 My brain hurts. View all posts by Mad Aunt Bernard

Published March 14, 2019March 18, 2019

2 thoughts on “Buggered Bicycle – An Account Of A Cycle Dive By My Dear Friend, Prof Reddish”

Heather Martin says:

March 28, 2019 at 8:42 am

Priceless – how brave and clever of you to hover whilst the photographer wrestled with his apparatus.

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1. Mad Aunt Bernard says:
  
  April 4, 2019 at 12:57 pm
  
  It was a good day for Professor Reddish, in fact, a cape and tights day.
  
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