Ah, can you stop for a minute? Well, I don’t want to hold you up, but – I’ve been talking to a man – you know the one, called Bert his wife, Eileen – VERRRY ugly, is eighty seven and has a wooden buttock. You’ve seen it. Marvellous for her age. Oldest woman in Trebollocks with a Glider’s License. And her son has a glass eye. Well you know I told you about their eldest son, Bunstable – well his new French wife, Sardine – She’s French. And she knows an incredible amount of things about Trout. She did a day course at Bibury Fish Farm, where she got an honours in Fish Fondling. She’s sought after, by the police. But unemployed cos it’s not the sort of thing you admit to, you know? Well, I’ve got a leaftlet on it, if you want. Anyway, I’ll push off, got some pickled onions on the go and the cat needs a replacement head flange.
A portal into the world of my poetry that takes it's inspiration from total rubbish. I work in the dark, down a hole, in a hedge.
These works are written from my base in the Cornish county of Trebollocks, where I also make clothes from fly-paper. Journal entries, usually concerning bizarre family matters. Poems, some tortoisy, some not - it depends what day of the week it is. But it's never about windmills or ghosts, that I can tell you. I am a Shrieking Tutor teach Advanced Hiding Skills at Trebollocks College, I studied tortoise flinging at Nempnett Thrubwell Academy of Reptile Propulsion. I am old. I am warty. I have a beard like a dandelion clock. I have two toads, some spiders, and a bat. My sister is terrified of satsumas. A trumpet's as good as a wig to a blind owl in a coracle.
Born on 1 April 1905
My brain hurts.
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2 thoughts on “Met Aunt Bench In Town – This Was The Conversation”
How confusing for you. I’m still trying to work it out myself.
How confusing for you. I’m still trying to work it out myself.
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Aren’t we all. There are just some odd samples in every family!
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